Smoking
Well, it's been a rough couple of days. My mother and my friends are the most wonderful people on this planet. They are just there, no matter how neurotic and freaked-out I am, and they are just amazing. They just keep taking my shit and taking my shit and supporting me and supporting me, long after I would have shot me and had done with it. Just dusted my hands and said, "good-fucking-riddance!"
Sigh.
I was explaining to E in an email this week about my life's 3 big frustrations. I didn't tell him that he was one of them. I did such a piss-poor job of veiling my anger and frustration at him, however, that he did pick up on it, said he understood and if he didn't understand completely, was "pretty damn close." This led me to believe that surely he wasn't talking about what I was actually talking about...then I got pushy and I'm afraid I've gone and pushed him away for good.
Talked to V on the phone tonight about it; she said to contact him in 3 weeks if I haven't heard back. If it's a go, great; if he's blah, then cut my losses and move on. We've never gone that long without talking - if it does go that long, I think I'll already have my answer.
That's the hard part, obviously.
Ah well. I'm not drinking. Does that score me any bonus points?
S will be in San Diego next weekend. I am so looking forward to seeing her. Of course I doubt she feels the same way about seeing me, as she's been in the Confidante Trifecta. S, I promise not to ruin your vacation! And if I start to, feel free to hit me over the head with a blunt object. Maybe it will do some good; a sort of antiquated shock-treatment...
I used to smoke in high school. I quit while still in high school. I'm starting to smoke again. I blame E for this, sharing his cigarettes with me. I'm blaming him for a lot of things lately. Particularly for turning me into a complete nutjob. He's icing on the freakin' cake, actually. I've been walking that fine line for several months now...
And onto world news....good god, that's even more depressing than my love life. What's there to say? We've got Israel bombing the holy shit out of Lebanon. The end.
This is a fun quiz if you're a complete loser like me:
http://www.quizilla.com/users/xstarseedx/quizzes/What%20Star%20Trek%3A%20TNG%20personality%20are%20you%3F
Sigh.
I was explaining to E in an email this week about my life's 3 big frustrations. I didn't tell him that he was one of them. I did such a piss-poor job of veiling my anger and frustration at him, however, that he did pick up on it, said he understood and if he didn't understand completely, was "pretty damn close." This led me to believe that surely he wasn't talking about what I was actually talking about...then I got pushy and I'm afraid I've gone and pushed him away for good.
Talked to V on the phone tonight about it; she said to contact him in 3 weeks if I haven't heard back. If it's a go, great; if he's blah, then cut my losses and move on. We've never gone that long without talking - if it does go that long, I think I'll already have my answer.
That's the hard part, obviously.
Ah well. I'm not drinking. Does that score me any bonus points?
S will be in San Diego next weekend. I am so looking forward to seeing her. Of course I doubt she feels the same way about seeing me, as she's been in the Confidante Trifecta. S, I promise not to ruin your vacation! And if I start to, feel free to hit me over the head with a blunt object. Maybe it will do some good; a sort of antiquated shock-treatment...
I used to smoke in high school. I quit while still in high school. I'm starting to smoke again. I blame E for this, sharing his cigarettes with me. I'm blaming him for a lot of things lately. Particularly for turning me into a complete nutjob. He's icing on the freakin' cake, actually. I've been walking that fine line for several months now...
And onto world news....good god, that's even more depressing than my love life. What's there to say? We've got Israel bombing the holy shit out of Lebanon. The end.
This is a fun quiz if you're a complete loser like me:
http://www.quizilla.com/users/xstarseedx/quizzes/What%20Star%20Trek%3A%20TNG%20personality%20are%20you%3F
1 Comments:
I wish I was there, too. You have no idea...
Where's my Pierre, huh?! I WANT MY PIERRE! :-)
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