Underwear
is a pain in my ass. Who are these underwear manufacturers and what the hell are they thinking?
Here's a gross story. My dog chews up my dirty underwear. He pulls it out of the hamper in the upstairs bedroom, takes it downstairs to the rug in front of the fireplace, and chews. When I come home and open the door and look to the left, I'll see a newly ruined pair of underwear waiting for me. He also seems to have radar for the more expensive pairs. In fact, all the expensive pairs are gone and I've got nothing left but those ones you never wear unless you have to? The ones that ride up in the back? Or the front. Or that leave constant panty lines. Or that don't match any bra I own.
Yesterday, Macy's 1-Day Sale. I found one - ONE - style of underwear that a) wouldn't allow my ass cheeks to hang out (Victoria's Secret likes to call this style "Cheeky" as if that's comfortable, letting your ass cheeks hang out while the rest of the panty rides up your crack - cheeky. COME ON! Are you kidding me?); b) wasn't a thong (ok for a day at work but it's coming off the moment I get home and there better be something comfortable to put on afterwards), or c) that hideous satin-belly-button-height-granny panty. And would you care to guess how much this ONE acceptable style cost? $22 per panty. Yep.
On to Target. Bought two packets of oh, I don't know, Fruit of the Loom? Hanes? is there a difference? and some sale thongs and spent $30. Here's hoping they work out. It's amazing how much time and effort I spent thinking of how to avoid panty lines (thong) while remaining comfortable (anything but a thong).
And this house. This house has gotten B and I into quite a twist. You see, we bought a fixer. Don't buy a fixer, folks. Only buy a fixer if you can fix it yourself. And are like Gidget on steroids because house shit is never done. It's never, never, ever done! I can't even keep up with the weeds around here, much less remodel a kitchen and bathroom and help B re-wire the electrical so we can get rid of the old knob and tube. We had an engineer come out on Saturday to give us an idea of what it would cost to do some work on our foundation. I also asked him about our driveway and retaining wall. Foundation? $5,000 for "staples" (the cheap fix) - per staple, per foundation crack, mind you. Of course we need a few staples. The other fix - something about a big drill and finding bedrock and a beam of some sort - about $60,000. Oh, and we need our drainage on the side of the house fixed, which means we ought to rip up our flagstones and put in new stairs and he can do that for $12,000. Hey sir, how about that retaining wall? Why yes, ma'am, how does $30,000 sound?
And so he tells us all of this and my mind is reeling and apparently on his way over, he drove his motorcycle into a fence on our street's windy and hilly road (it's a very narrow and windy road, one car only at times). We ended up tying a rope to our tow hitch and his bike and pulling him out. You're welcome. How about a break on that estimate? No? Well! Fine!
Here's a gross story. My dog chews up my dirty underwear. He pulls it out of the hamper in the upstairs bedroom, takes it downstairs to the rug in front of the fireplace, and chews. When I come home and open the door and look to the left, I'll see a newly ruined pair of underwear waiting for me. He also seems to have radar for the more expensive pairs. In fact, all the expensive pairs are gone and I've got nothing left but those ones you never wear unless you have to? The ones that ride up in the back? Or the front. Or that leave constant panty lines. Or that don't match any bra I own.
Yesterday, Macy's 1-Day Sale. I found one - ONE - style of underwear that a) wouldn't allow my ass cheeks to hang out (Victoria's Secret likes to call this style "Cheeky" as if that's comfortable, letting your ass cheeks hang out while the rest of the panty rides up your crack - cheeky. COME ON! Are you kidding me?); b) wasn't a thong (ok for a day at work but it's coming off the moment I get home and there better be something comfortable to put on afterwards), or c) that hideous satin-belly-button-height-granny panty. And would you care to guess how much this ONE acceptable style cost? $22 per panty. Yep.
On to Target. Bought two packets of oh, I don't know, Fruit of the Loom? Hanes? is there a difference? and some sale thongs and spent $30. Here's hoping they work out. It's amazing how much time and effort I spent thinking of how to avoid panty lines (thong) while remaining comfortable (anything but a thong).
And this house. This house has gotten B and I into quite a twist. You see, we bought a fixer. Don't buy a fixer, folks. Only buy a fixer if you can fix it yourself. And are like Gidget on steroids because house shit is never done. It's never, never, ever done! I can't even keep up with the weeds around here, much less remodel a kitchen and bathroom and help B re-wire the electrical so we can get rid of the old knob and tube. We had an engineer come out on Saturday to give us an idea of what it would cost to do some work on our foundation. I also asked him about our driveway and retaining wall. Foundation? $5,000 for "staples" (the cheap fix) - per staple, per foundation crack, mind you. Of course we need a few staples. The other fix - something about a big drill and finding bedrock and a beam of some sort - about $60,000. Oh, and we need our drainage on the side of the house fixed, which means we ought to rip up our flagstones and put in new stairs and he can do that for $12,000. Hey sir, how about that retaining wall? Why yes, ma'am, how does $30,000 sound?
And so he tells us all of this and my mind is reeling and apparently on his way over, he drove his motorcycle into a fence on our street's windy and hilly road (it's a very narrow and windy road, one car only at times). We ended up tying a rope to our tow hitch and his bike and pulling him out. You're welcome. How about a break on that estimate? No? Well! Fine!
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