2009 at last

I really, really, really miss my dog. I realized last night it's only been a little over three months since he died and since I was left alone in that room at the vet's with his little lifeless body. He was so miserable for so long, and then that ride to the vet's he seemed to enjoy himself for the first time in months, lying in the passenger seat in the warmth of the sun, taking little sniffs from the air coming in through my cracked window, snorting occasionally, rubbing his head on the seat; little Simon behaviors of contentment. It seems like he's been gone forever, but the feeling of loss and grief is so incredibly raw and ...renewable. How do you get over this?

Well. Anyway. Happy fuckin' new year. I mean that. I have confidence in 2009. Faith, if you will. And I'm pretty careful where I place that elusive thing.