The Corn Conversation

This is the kind of conversation that happens between two women who both have PMS. One of which is not paying attention (that would be me). And I'm not really such a terribly mean person - it's just that I've been watching my close friend N eat nothing but vegetables for weeks on end now and counting every single calorie that goes into her mouth. She even looks up the calories in fruits.

N: what should i get
1) starbucks cafe latte (non fat)
2) corn (250 calories)

me: CORN?

N: yeah

me: A CAN OF CORN?
why are yo udoding this?

N: the stuff in plastic u know
unpoped corn

me: you need to eat a MEAL, okay?
you need protein

N: can't in class

me: okay but that dosn't explain the way you're eatin goutside of class
vegetables - nothing but vegetables
thhey have no fat

N: i had chicken

me: okay
and what else?

N: on my salad
i had cereal this morning
then salad and chicken
then soup
then tangerines
AND
THE CHEESE AT b-----

me: okay
well eat y our damn corn

N: corn is better than non fat latte?

me: i don't know why yo'ure thinking of drinking a stupid latte when yo'ure HUNGRY
you're hungry
SO EAT
CORN?!
you carry corn with you?
what is this?

N: no junk machine has it
lol
u r too funny

me: what kind of corn is this?
like del monte in the can?
i'm really confused here

N: not can

me: help me out with the fucking corn, pelase

N: unpoped corn
crunchy stuff

me: pop corn?!

N: not popped
it's got tons of salt

me: i'm really confused

N: lol

me: it's not in a can
it's not popped
what the fuck is it
help me out here
really give me a brand

N: it;s called crunchy corn

me: so inkow what you're looking at

N: i should pop some mabe

me: i mean if it's food eat it
you're hungry

N: they have real pop corn
i should have a bag
what da fuck ha
lol

me: i cn't type withthese fucking long nails
brb

N: k
i'm going to get food

me: good! eat! :-)