The Affair is Over (the gluten affair, that is...)

So today I found myself at Trader Joe's buying food. It was a very depressing shopping experience. I think I've got what's called Celiac disease, which is an auto-immune disease in which the body attacks the enzymes that digest wheat, gluten, rye, and barley. Or something to that effect. I have a good portion of the symptoms, and ever since puberty have been wondering what in the world is wrong with my body that I'm unable to co-exist with other humans (besides my family) in comfort. Also there is a link between celiac disease and thyroid disease, and I've got the thyroid disease, alright...got that diagnosed middle of last year and get to take a thyroid hormone every day for the rest of my life. So there I was with my cart, looking for non-wheat/barley/rye foods. This is a daunting experience. Want a sandwich? Sure, without bread! Or how about some rock-hard tiny bread that probably tastes like cement? Like pasta? Here, have some weirdo/paste-like noodles that turn into goo after boiling?! And what do I live on? Bread and pasta! How about a nice Guinness after work with your pals? How about no beer for you!?

Yeah, this is depressing. But, I did find a container of dark chocolate-covered espresso beans. Those I can have. So there, Mr. Celiac Disease! You big meanie! You suck!

This is a People's Court rerun! Damn it! A rerun on my day off! This is NOT fair. I want a sandwich!